Admit it. The title of this post caught your attention. Life and work….we are all trying to figure it out on a day by day basis. No matter what you call it – work-life balance, the struggle to juggle, walking the work-life tightrope, work-life harmony – it is something that no one really has totally mastered. Sure there are solutions, but clearly there is no one size fits all answer to the work-life issue.
Yesterday, I decided to throw the question out there on Twitter. I asked peeps this:
Do you think work-life balance is even possible?
In a space of about an hour I received a great many responses and wow were they ever varied. Some people thought that work-life balance was a complete and total myth. Others told me that the best way to manage the issue was to learn how to say no. A few peeps said the word balance was misleading; that it was impossible to achieve – ever. One person spoke about looking at life like a wagon wheel, making each spoke a different part. Another person talked about how technology and social media blurred the lines for everything in their world. There was even a discussion about how feasible it was to put smart phones away before sitting down at the table for dinner. Clearly, my question struck a nerve. Every single person who responded to my tweet had thoughts about the work-life issue and how it applied to them.
@KatrinaNash sent me the link to a recent Fast Company blog post by Craig Chappelow. This part of the post really stood out to me:
Here’s what I tell them: work-life balance is a myth. That myth compels many of us to view an ideal life as a set of perfectly level scales. On the tray on one side is your personal life. On the other side is your work life. With heroic efforts, you can keep both trays exactly level. If one starts to tip too far, you make some kind of nifty move that balances them again.
In reality, that perfect balance almost never occurs, except for those rare, fleeting moments when the trays pass each other on the way up or down–and we’re too frazzled to appreciate that brief moment of self-actualization anyway.
So what are your thoughts?
Are you trying to find work-life balance or harmony or whatever works for you? Do you think you will ever achieve it?
I have a happy Work Life Balance. I work from home, travel only when necessary. Talk to people via social media. Mentor people via Skype. Train people via the internet. See my kids when they come home from school. Meet people at events that we organize, like SOBCon Europe and the monthly Social Media Club Amsterdam.
It all is one life.
Hi Eric,
I agree with you. It is all one life….the more we try to split things out the harder it becomes sometimes. I love that you are using technology to build the kind of life you want. It just makes sense.
Jane
OK – I admit it – I was hooked by the title of your blogpost. But I was already hooked by the way you engaged with me over on Twitter under #12er. So I’m now double-hooked.
I wish I could have a better work-life balance… & will be saying as long as I’m up for a challenge. It’s like the struggle to realise my potential – that’ll be at me all the way.
Where would we be without myths? If we didn’t have them, we’d invent them because they’re guiding stories, journeys worth taking, adventures on which we learn valuable lessons.
Looking back, I could say I screwed up my work-life balance during the 1980s by working too much, not playing enough, not attending enough to my family & self. However I wouldn’t be the person I am today with that experience… and I’m not complaining.
It helps me to treat “work-life balance” as a mystical vision, shrouded but visible enough for me to make out the outline. With that in hope, I can form bite-sized ‘SMART’ objectives – and achieve a succession of small wins. I can improve my life, can tweak the way I use time & passion…
Every now & again, something comes along (way outside my control) and presents me with a challenge that reminds me how rich the road really is. 12 in 12 (#12er on Twitter) was that this year. Julien Smith’s “The Flinch” too. Like meteors, they’ll always be coming this way.
I’ll never crack it or achieve it – I hope. What would I have to work on if I was satisfied?
But Jane you make a great point through your blogpost: let’s not beat ourselves up about this. Let’s keep things in perspective – everyone is vexed by this – the fantasy that others have mastered the challenge is not helpful. If I ever feel I’m on top of it all, I’m ready for a fall.
[This is really like golf & the myth of the perfect swing… As soon as you have it, you’re bound to lose it…]
Thank you so much for giving so much.
Paul,
Thank you for your comment. I am so glad that you are double hooked! You have raised some really great points. In recent years, my views on work and life have changed. I no longer view them as separated from one another and I also don’t expect I will ever do things perfectly! What I do know is that when I work with passion and when I believe in my heart that what I am doing makes a difference I feel good on every level. That feeling fuels my desire to be better in other areas of my life – i.e. with my children, with my relationships and to myself. It is a win-win.
I am working very hard to be intentional in my thoughts, actions and steps these days. I realize that life is not getting any shorter and I still have an awful lot that I want to do – not only for myself but for my family and the world. @LizStrauss wrote an excellent post today http://www.successful-blog.com/1/25-secrets-to-live-and-work-intelligently-from-the-heart/ Her first point was this:
1. Decide who you want to be and what you’re building. It’s not a process. It’s a decision. We don’t have enough future. See it and be it now.
To me this pretty much says it all….we need to decide who we want to be and then simply do it. If we build our life based on who we are in our heart, then our work and everything that goes with it will be connected in a way that works in the very best way possible for us.
Thanks again Paul. I look forward to many more discussions with you!
Jane
I sit firmly in the “work life balance is a myth” camp. The problem is that we are seeing work as seperate to life. It isn’t. There is only one thing – life. Everything else is an activity of which work is one element.
I feel we need to stop obsessing about balance. In fact, balance shouldn’t be the focus at all. Do we really want less important things to balance with what is really important in life. Hell no. I think shifting our mindset from balance to designing the life we really want (of which work is one element) leads to better results than chasing the outdated and totally flawed concept of work life balance.