Meet Ali Davies and her delightful young eight year old son. Last week, Ali arrived at my blog via a Tweet that Liz Strauss had recently sent out with a link to one of my posts. My first connection with Ali was via a comment she left on a post I had written questioning if work-life balance is even possible. She had read the post and left me some direct feedback with her thoughts on the whole work-life balance issue. You see, Ali helps Self Employed Professionals make changes in their business and life to create success on their own terms. Given this, she could truly relate to the things that I was questioning in my blog post. I loved that had stopped by and decided to engage in discussion with me about something that we are both passionate about.
Currently Ali lives in Ireland, however after some back and fourth DM’s via Twitter I soon came to learn that she was actually visiting Vancouver and that she is in the process of planning a relocation to Canada. Amazing! So today, I headed to downtown Vancouver and had lunch with Ali and her son. Right away, we hit it off and shared many stories about life, work, social media and the fact that there is no one size fits all solution to the work-life issue. We had a truly wonderful discussion which enabled us to begin building a relationship with one another.
So…here’s the thing. Millions of tweets fly by in my Twitter stream every day. Behind every one of those Tweets is a person with a life and things that are important to them. By taking the time to reach out and connect with people whose values, goals and interests align with mine; great things can happen. Sure, the tweets matter – but honestly it is the people who are writing the tweets that matter so much more. Today’s lunch with Ali reinforced that unequivocally.
Here are some tips to help you build relationships with the people behind the tweets in your Twitter stream.
- Find and follow people whose values, work and passions align with yours.
- Begin to engage with individuals who interest you by commenting, tweeting questions, thoughts and feedback. Enter into a conversations with them. Invest in those conversations over the long term. Think long term – not quick hits.
- Don’t expect people to “give or lend” you their influence – just because you ask for it. Liz Strauss wrote an excellent post on this exact issue yesterday.
- Take the time to read a person’s Twitter bio. Check out their website or blog. Read what they are writing about. Look for their comments and work across the web. Learn their style, tone and thought patterns. Get to know them. Listen.
- Where possible, meet in real life or at least via Skype. Even the most informal chats are an opportunity to begin building and investing in a relationship.
- Attend conferences, meetups, tweetups and other events that will give you a chance to meet and get to know people individually.
- Think “give” – not “get”. It is as simple as that. Don’t approach relationship building from the place of what you need, want or how quickly you can gain something. Look at what you can offer and how you can help the other person out. The old adage “it is better to give than receive” applies here – every time.
I can’t wait for Ali to move to Canada. I am so happy that we have connected and begun to invest in building our relationship.
What are you doing to invest in relationship building? Are you getting to know the people behind the Tweets that you see every day?
It is possible to have work, life balance but for me, it takes practice. I like getting some form of exercise everyday whether it’s swimming laps or walking to an appointment, meeting or whatever. That’s never been hard. But truly chilling out was something I had to learn. Yesterday I took a hot bath mid-afternoon and read a good thriller for the better part of an hour then meditated for ten minutes. At one time, walking away from the computer, not answering calls might have seemed decadent at midday. Not anymore, balance keeps me sharp business-wise.
Great ideas…thank you for sharing what works for you. Finding what works for us individually is so important. You sound like you are well on your way 🙂
Jane, I am a big believer that genuine relationships with people who have closely aligned values are the life blood of business and personal success. Twitter is a very powerful tool for initiating these connections and being the start of developing strong relationships. However, as your post points out, we need to take things beyond twitter to nurture healthy relationships. Thanks for sharing our story as part of your post. It was lovely to meet you too and am looking forward to more interesting discussions to come.
Ali – thanks for your comment.
For me…everything comes down to genuine relationships. When we are closely aligned in terms of core goals and values amazing things can happen. The more intentional efforts I make in this area the more I recognize how critical it is. Further, the best part is how amazing it makes me feel – both about my business and my life. Looking forward to many more discussions and to your upcoming relocation to Vancouver. Jane
Ali hi. Greetings from Glanmire. Cork, Ireland where 7 hours ago Jane Boyd told me via Skype she’d met you in Vancouver.
What a tiny world we’re creating with this “social media” stuff!
People reading Jane’s blog & these comments may be fascinated to know that Ali & I have met on Twitter about 2-3 years ago. We’ve exchanged many tweets & RTs. But we’ve never met face-to-face or even on Skype. We’ve both been tweeting from this little island of Ireland but for whatever reason – we’ve not taken the next step.
Hi Paul
Your comment to Ali and my blog readers just gave me a big smile. I so enjoyed our conversation earlier today. It gave me a lot of things to think about. It is amazing the commonalities that we all have – no matter where we live in this great big world! The tools of social media give us the ability to cross borders and time zones with few boundaries or barriers. I love that we can have conversations, share ideas and support one another’s efforts.
I am still amazed at how Ali and I came to meet and it is made even better by the fact that she and you also know each other via Twitter. Have a wonderful day!
Jane
(continuing)
Jane Boyd in Vancouver Canada has brought Ali Davies & me closer together. DC facilitates Cork. What a tiny world we’re creating.
I think Twitter is neither healthy nor in-healthy: it’s the people who use Twitter that are more or less healthy. There are so many amazing people using Twitter in different ways. There isn’t time or energy to develop relationships with more than a tiny few.
What influences you to develop a closer relationship with an individual or brand? What is the @tipping
(continuing 3/3)
What is the tipping-point factor that clinches it for you – that gets you to commit extra time & energy to deepening a Twitter contact into a relationship on towards a deeper collaboration?
I don’t have the answer but Jane Boyd is showing us the way I sense. Whatever Jane has done she’s opened up the possibility of new & valuable connections-of-a-deeper-kind for two people on the other side of the glove. And Jane I think yoy’vw done it as if by magic – this must be the last thing you imagined would happen when you joined 12 in 12 with @fitarella.
Certainly I’m still recovering from the virtual shock of finding out Ali’s met Jane f2f.
This must be a case-study – a real live case study that shows the nature of the world we can nurture & enjoy. I have much to thank Mitch Joel for – he’s the first “star” who I ever asked to chat via Skype. He did it with a group of us in Cork (from @smarteregg) and thereby lived the message if his
(continuing 4/4)
@mitchjoel lived the message of his wonderful “Six Degrees of Separation” book.
Ali & Jane – thank you both for sharing your story & values. I, for one, will be a different person from now on. I wish you a ground-breaking collaboration in Vancouver: people will be fortunate to meet you.
Hey Paul, must read that book your mention. Sounds interesting.
Social media is indeed a “small world” in which we are all more closely connected than we are sometimes aware.